Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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