now i know why i became what i already was.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
