so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
