She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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