i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
