so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
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