I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
