he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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