So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
