Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
That's when you crack a 10am beer
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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