just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
