I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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