OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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