all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
