dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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