I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
