I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
