I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
