wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
