I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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