Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
