i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
