I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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