It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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