fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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