genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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