We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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