I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
