did you get engaged???
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
