Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
