How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
