I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
