He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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