Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
