Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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