im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
