When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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