You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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