tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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