There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
What did we do last night that was yellow?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
