Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
