I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
