Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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