I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
