Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Well I just put wine in my tea
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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