I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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