so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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