What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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