At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm getting married
To pizza
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
