Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
