I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
